Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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