I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
