I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
the day after is always just damage control
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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