Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
ya dads aren't the best wingmen
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
you made out with another girl for some wings
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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