How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
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