Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Randomize
