omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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