Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
