Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
