Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
