I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
