We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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