He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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