I wanna passion pit in your ass
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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