The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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