hell yes lets make some ravioli
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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