The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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