I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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