I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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