Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize