I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
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We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
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I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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