so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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