I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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