Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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