Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
