So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
high people should be assigned attendants
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
