Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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