I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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