i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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