nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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