He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
