i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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