kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
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