i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
These 23 People Had Sex With Someone From Completely Different Cultures
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
25 Medical Facts That Need To Be Common Knowledge
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?