There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol