I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize