Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Never underestimate the power of titties
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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