is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
