we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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