I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize