I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
