Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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