I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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