What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
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