please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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