come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
