i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
