dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
