Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
