3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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