I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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