It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
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