Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
There r osticjed everywhere
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
