he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
