sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
