Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
