thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
