allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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