Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
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