I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
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you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
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Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.