so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.