don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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