Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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